News Column

Celebrity Resolutions We'd Like To See In 2012

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Insurance company AFLAC, which relies on the island nation for much of its business, immediately fired Gottfried as the voice of its celebrity spokesduck. Too bad the GEICO Gecko is already taken ...

Chris Brown: I resolve to count to five and think happy thoughts whenever I'm about to blow my stack.

During a March interview with "Good Morning America," host Robin asked the R&B singer about his infamous 2008 assault on ex-girlfriend Rihanna. But Brown dodged the questions made a sales pitch for his latest album. After his appearance, Brown went on a tirade in his dressing room, screaming so loudly that security was alerted. Then he threw a chair into a window and shouted at a segment producer before leaving the building shirtless and tweeting: "I'm so over people bringing this past sh-- up!" And who can blame him? Obviously his days of violent outbursts are well behind him.

Donald Trump: I resolve to avoid embarrassment.

It's been quite a year for bouffant-sporting business magnate Donald Trump. He spent a few months as an obnoxious presidential hopeful -- making President Barack Obama's birthplace one of his key issues -- before bowing out of the race in May. He endured a Comedy Central Roast in March, and suffered further embarrassment when former Miss USA Rima Fakih -- already the subject of stripper and sexy photo scandals -- was caught driving drunk in December. With yet another season of "The Celebrity Apprentice" scheduled to begin in February, we wish America would simply tell Trump, "You're fired!"

Anthony Weiner: I resolve to share less Weiner in 2012.

Never afraid to poke fun of his own last name, Weiner invited even more "wiener" jokes last spring when the Democratic congressman took photos of his -- well, you know -- and posted it on the Twitter page of one of his female followers. Initially, Weiner suggested his site was hacked. But later the married New Yorker admitted that he had sent sexually explicit messages to six different women over three years. Like Republican Herman Cain a few months later, the sexual scandal would sack Weiner's political career. And Twitter has been Weiner-free since June.

Tracy Morgan: I resolve to keep my homophobia to myself.

Comedic loose cannon Tracy Morgan raised the ire of the gay community in June when he went on a profanity-laden tirade during a Nashville stand-up show. He described homosexuality as a choice, dismissed concerns about anti-gay bullying, and told audience members that his son "better talk to me like a man and not in a gay voice or I'll pull out a knife and stab (him) to death." Yikes. No amount of backpedaling could save the "30 Rock" star, not even an apology tour.

Gerard Depardieu: I resolve to lay off liquids (especially wine) before flying.

For some celebrities, airplanes not only represent convenient travel but also a good place to exhibit bratty behavior. Not to be outdone, last summer Depardieu went -- as the French might say -- wee wee in the cabin of a CityJet plane destined for Dublin. As the plane taxied, airline attendants had told Depardieu that he needed to wait 15 minutes to use the toilet. But for Depardieu, that wouldn't do. So the Oscar-nominated actor -- who claims he drinks several bottles of wine a day -- stood up and urinated, shocking other passengers.

Sam Hurd: I resolve to remember how lucky I was to be a $6 million man.

Last summer, the 26-year-old receiver signed a three-year deal worth $5.15 million, which included a $1.35 million signing bonus, with the Chicago Bears. Yet, apparently, Hurd wanted to be more of a millionaire. Earlier this month, Hurd was arrested for allegedly trying to buy cocaine and pot from an undercover agent. According to the charges, Hurd wanted to purchase $700,000 worth of drugs weekly to distribute throughout Chicago. The Bears cut him two days after his arrest.



Source: (c)2011 The Tribune (San Luis Obispo, Calif.)


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