News Column

Wet weekend ; Life and death Word of caution Sinking feeling Biting wit Power of eight Wise words

June 27, 2014

THE half-Scottish folk-rock band Hunter & The Bear, who supported Eric Clapton in Glasgow last weekend, have been blogging about their recent concert experiences.

Recently, they had an "amazing" day at the Off the Tracks festival at Donnington Park. They found the best falafel vendor in the world, and spent a longish amount of time in a Hari Krishna tent.

When it came to their music, however, the band didn't receive universal approval. A four-year old boy showed his displeasure "by taking off his trousers and peeing on the stage apron before being whisked away by his mother".

We can only hope this is a trend that does not catch on among adults attending shows at the Hydro.

TIM Malseed got off a bus at Buchanan Street station the other day but only managed to get a few yards before he was stopped by someone flogging life insurance.

Tim says: "This sales guy said to me, 'Have you considered buying life insurance? What would happen to your loved ones if you died?'

"I know the streets of Glasgow used to have a bad reputation," adds Tim. "But this seemed a bit excessive."

FURTHER to our stories about bar staff, David Kirkwood recalls a man walking down Byres Road and seeing a sign outside a pub: "A Pie, a Pint and a Kind Word - pound(s)2.50."

Intrigued, he walks inside. "What d'you want?" says the barman, testily.

The bloke asks for the advertised special. With ill grace the barman chucks a greasy pie on to the counter and sloshes a pint down next to it.

"What about the kind word ?" says the bloke, bemused.

The barman looks around and leans across the counter. He whispers: "Don't eat the pie."

AMIDST the tumult on Twitter after the announcement that Fifa had banned Luis Suarez from all football-related activities for four months for biting Italy'sGiorgio Chiellini, we spotted one plaintive observation. "Four months?" its author asked indignantly. "How on earth is Luis going to complete his Panini World Cup sticker album, then?"

PRIOR to the verdict being announced, comedian Milton Jones had made his own feelings on the subject crystal clear.

"They should throw the book at Suarez," he tweeted. "Cookery book - tasty alternatives."

SPEAKING of the World Cup, Alan Ellsworth contacts us to share his favourite moment from the blanket TV coverage so far. It occurred during Spain's unexpectedly heavy 5-1 defeat by the Netherlands. At the end of it all, one commentator declared sagely: "No octopus in the world could have predicted this score."

AND finally - if you're looking for that perfect, undemanding beach-read this summer, may we recommend a small, newly published book from Ebury Press, a bargain at pound(s)3.99?

Titled The Wit and Wisdom of Nigel Farage, it is "the definitive collection of Nigel Farage's witty quips, wise pronouncements and political insights. Every single one of them".

You will have guessed by now that every one of the book's pages is blank.


For more stories covering arts and entertainment, please see HispanicBusiness' Arts & Entertainment Channel



Source: Herald, The (Scotland)


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