Aug. 17--If it wasn't for "Breaking Bad" being back, this might be the worst week of television so far this year. I'll probably just zip through the actual programming and watch the commercials for the new fall series. Here's what barely -- and I mean barely -- caught my eye on TV this week:
Sunday: "Breaking Bad," 8 p.m., AMC: It seems as if becoming an angel investor for homeless startups hasn't helped to ease Jesse's conscience.
"The Great Food Truck Race," 8 p.m., Food Network: Season 4 -- start your engines!
"Crossing Lines," 8 p.m., NBC: The season wraps up with back-to-back episodes.
"Masterpiece Mystery: The Lady Vanishes," 8 p.m., PBS: "You got your public television in my Hitchcock!" "You got your Hitchcock in my public television!"
Monday: "The Man With the 132-lb. Scrotum," 8 p.m., TLC: This is my least favorite Otto Preminger movie. Just kidding! Anyway, I wonder if the particularly prodigious pouch belongs to the guy who fathered all of those Duggar kids?
"Longmire," 9 p.m., A&E: Walt finds a severed digit that might help him finger a suspect or two.
"Bubba-Q," 9:30 p.m., Food Network: A custom barbecue with tires? Meals on wheels!
Tuesday: "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" 7 p.m., CW: Keegan Michael-Key of "Key and Peele" guest stars.
"The Life of Muhammad," 7 p.m., PBS: This three-parter looks at the founder of Islam. The second and third installments follow immediately after.
Wednesday: "Futurama," 9 p.m., Comedy Central: A horrible creature corners the Planet Express crew, and this time it's not Dr. Zoidberg.
"Modern Dads," 9:30 p.m., A&E: I wonder if "close your eyes and make a wish" applies to the birthday party or the vasectomy being planned in the premiere of this series about stay-at-home dads?
Thursday: "Ghost Shark," 8 p.m., Syfy: A tortured and murdered great white returns from the dead to wreak spectral vengeance on humans, including that big, bald guy from "Night Court." It can appear anywhere there's water, so you might want to take your bathroom break before this made-for-TV movie starts.
Friday: "Say Yes to the Dress," 8 p.m., TLC: In the interest of politeness, you really ought to say "yes, please."
"Miss U Much," 9 p.m., VH1: Have you been wondering what original "American Idol" runner-up Justin Guarini has been up to? No? Well, tough -- there's nothing else on.
Saturday: "Escape from Polygamy," 7 p.m., Lifetime: Let's mess with Shakespeare! This "Romeo and Juliet" adaptation is set in a polygamous compound.
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