THERE'S a force of pure evil being beamed into all our lives, our homes, our cars.
It's pop music. There is no escaping it, no matter how smart or cultured you think you are.
Scandalous pop singers are spewing out lewd lyrics and gyrating all over the place.
We're doomed. Hurtling down the highway to hell with these provocative popstrels as our designated drivers.
You may think you can close your eyes to it, but as long as your ears are fully functioning, you cannot ignore it.
Some of those tunes are just too darned catchy.
Rihanna, Miley, Katy, Gaga... they're all blazing a trail for sex like they invented it. Ah, bless their youthful exuberance as they jump onto the smutty pop bandwagon.
But listen up all you complainers: change the record. Don't tell me you haven't ever strutted your stuff to some risque pop - whichever was the big thing back in your day.
Elvis Presley, the Kinks, the Beatles, Madonna, the Grease film - they've all been there, done that with the outrageousness.
Every generation has its filth-pedlars. In my opinion, there's none finer than Mae West. What a gal.
Remember poring over song words in Smash Hits? None of us really knew what it all meant. Just as I suspect the young ones today have no proper understanding of sleaze either. Why should they? They're children. Why would they get embroiled in the nittygritty of sexual overtones? To them, it's just the latest must-have thing. Knowing that their parents really hate it is an added bonus.
Want to sell a mediocre piece of music? Sex it up! Get the singer to sing IN THEIR PANTS! It's the quickest route to making a fast buck. Column inches shall be yours until the next big thing comes along. The pop star's just a commodity.
It's all about the money.
Contrast these marketing principles with the glut of Christmas adverts being unveiled on the telly this weekend. These are strictly nudity-free zone.
Why? Because here's a world where the grown-ups make the spending decisions.
Any whiff of desperation from a scantily-clad pop star would be spotted a mile off. A Miley Cyrus off, if you've got your wits about you.
It's tough knowing the latest crop of pop stars are being judged on their looks rather than talent. It's only as you get older and wiser you realise looks don't matter. Youth really is wasted on the young.
That's why it's up to parents to instill a few good, wholesome values into their children rather than letting pop stars and the Machiavellian svengalis behind them do the parenting for them.
Just as there comes a moment when we grow up and come to terms with the hard-hitting news that cartoons aren't real, that Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy are increasingly elusive, we also learn that hyper-sexualised pop stars aren't a true reflection of life. It's really quite clear, no blurred lines.
Pop will always be a controversy magnet. The kids today will tune out of their pop songs, becoming the next generation of tutters themselves. Sleazy pop will always be around, however you dress it up. Or actually dress it in very little indeed. So, as Frankie said in their banned tune back in 1983, Relax.
What do you think? E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org
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