The alchemy of turning brass to gold: How three women used two
generals to advance their own agendas.
The flesh is weak but the spirit of commerce is willing.
The sexy part of Washington's newest sex scandal has waned. The
crass part is cranking up.
As The New York Times's Scott Shane writes: "The major players
have hired high-profile, high-priced representatives to manage the
fallout, watch for legal trouble, police the press and massage
damaged reputations."
And, no doubt, pave the way for future book deals, cushy jobs and
TV apologias in honeyed light with Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters.
The tears and lip gloss started flowing Tuesday at a press
conference at the Ritz-Carlton here featuring a distraught twin, a
befuddled press corps and Gloria Allred, the feminist avenger last
seen tormenting Herman Cain over sexual harassment charges.
One minute you're the Boy Scout C.I.A. chief, or the Dudley Do-
Right general poised to be the next Supreme Allied Commander in
Europe. The next you're in trouble with your wife, your career is a
late-night chew toy and you're headed to Allred's Wikipedia page to
join such headlines as: "Gloria Allred: Tiger Woods's True
Opponent?," "Roman Polanski Hit by Fresh Sex Allegations," "Gloria
Allred Seeks Rush Limbaugh Prosecution," "Porn Star Says
Representative Weiner Asked Her to Lie," and "Attorney Gloria Allred
Now Connected to Causeway Cannibal Case."
The news conference with Allred and her latest curvy client,
Natalie Khawam, Jill Kelley's identical saturnine twin, was so weird
it was hard to figure out if it was real, a Bravo pilot or a
Lifetime Christmas movie in search of a good miracle.
"My sister Jill and I aren't just twins, we're best friends,
literally inseparable," said Khawam, wearing a demure navy dress and
navy suede 4-inch heels with gold trim. She continued: "We played
varsity tennis together. She played net and I served." (Don't you
have to alternate?)
With tears streaming down her cheeks, she went on: "We also
played softball together. She was the catcher and I pitched. We love
to cook together. I usually bake and she sautes. We used to study
together. I loved math. She loved science, and she excelled in
chemistry. We love to play piano and play chess."
It was not clear why the twin, described by Allred as "a whistle-
blower attorney," was oversharing and then withholding. The two
women called a press conference to not comment on the scandal that
is the only reason anyone turned up at the press conference.
The soap opera Stephen Colbert calls "General's Hospital" was
sparked by Kelley, who got an F.B.I. friend in Tampa to pursue an
investigation of Paula Broadwell's taunting, jealous, anonymous e-
mails, and who sent thousands of pages of e-mails herself to Gen.
John Allen -- a handful of which were sexually explicit enough to
hold up his promotion.
Natalie had a cameo role, voguing with the generals and their
wives, and persuading "King David" Petraeus and General Allen, the
top NATO commander in Afghanistan, to write letters in a bruising
custody case as she fought her ex-husband -- a honcho in the Iraq
occupation -- over their baby son.
Reporters, trying to fathom why they were there, asked Khawam and
Allred a plethora of questions. But it seems that Natalie, who
gingerly entered arm-in-arm with Gloria, just wanted everyone to
know that she has filed an appeal to try to reverse a decision
giving sole custody to her ex, after a D.C. judge deemed that
Natalie had lodged "sensational accusations" against her former
husband and was "a psychologically unstable person."
In the "Military-Adulterous Complex," as Time called it, the twin
sisters and Broadwell were not shy about using their access to top
generals to advance their own agendas.
Adam Victor, C.E.O. of TransGas Development Systems in New York,
told reporters that Kelley -- who swanned around Tampa and the
MacDill Air Force Base, home to Centcom, as a trompe l'oeil diplomat
for South Korea -- had offered to set up a natural gas deal in South
Korea in return for an $80 million commission.
"Kelley made it clear to me that General Petraeus put her in this
position and that's why she was able to have access to such senior
levels that they were essentially doing a favor for General
Petraeus," Victor -- who balked at the ludicrous $80 million -- told
ABC News's Brian Ross.
Ross also reported that Broadwell grabbed the brass ring,
starring in an infomercial for a company trying to gain military
contracts for "strange-looking lightweight machine guns."
"Watchdog groups say the use of Broadwell was a brilliant move by
a company seeking an edge in Washington," Ross said.
The military might want to have its future stars read Jane Austen
as well as Grant and Rommel. "Pride and Prejudice" is full of
warnings about the dangers of young ladies with exuberant,
flirtatious, "unguarded and imprudent" manners visiting military
regiments and preening in "all the glories of the camp."
Such folly and vanity, the ever wise Elizabeth Bennet cautioned,
can lead to censure and disgrace.
