News Column

20 Celebrity Questions That Must Be Answered in 2012

Jan. 3, 2012

Barry Koltnow

Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian

I promise that I have compiled my last list of anything remotely associated with 2011.

But I never promised anything about 2012.

Following that logic, I have compiled my first list of the new year. I'm taking a wild guess that it won't be my last.

The year 2011 ended with a flurry of unanswered questions, so allow me to suggest the 20 questions that I would like to see answered in 2012. I'm not demanding answers, but I would love to get at least a few of these burning questions answered. Is that too much to ask? (By the way, that wasn't one of the questions on the list.)

Here are the 20 questions that we hope will be addressed in 2012:

1. Will we find out why Regis Philbin really left his popular morning talk show? I'm sorry, but I'm not buying any version of the "I was ready to move on" scenario. I believe Regis was forced out, and I'll continue to believe that until I hear otherwise from Regis. I have nothing against Kelly -- any Jersey girl who quotes "The Godfather" is OK in my book -- but the show has suffered since the host's departure.

2. Will we ever find out whether Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage to basketball player Kris Humphries was a scam? My gut instinct was scam, but then watching some of the episodes of the TV show since the break-up has convinced me that these were two clueless people who entered into a relationship without thinking.

3. Can Charlie Sheen control himself long enough to mount a comeback in his new TV series "Anger Management?" There is a very old profession banking on it.

4. Is this the year that Taylor Swift stops acting surprised every time she wins an award? Come on, Taylor. You're very talented, and you must know it by now.

5. How many supermodels will Leonardo DiCaprio date this year? How many supermodels are there?

6. How many times will Steven Tyler be forced to issue a public apology for lecherous remarks made as an "American Idol" judge? As many times as it helps to boost ratings.

7. Will Kristen Stewart ever smile? For a woman who starred in one of the biggest movie franchises of all time ("Twilight"), she looks like she is in constant pain.

8. How many weeks before a movie will be anointed as the "Best movie of the year" in an ad? We could ask the question this way -- "Will movie studios finally be honest in their advertising this year, and admit that some of those favorable quotes are written by dishonest hacks who want to curry favor from the studios in exchange for free trips to exotic locations?"

9. How will the world survive an entire year without a new "Harry Potter" movie? Very well, thank you.

10. Now that HBO's "Boardwalk Empire" knocked off its brightest young star, how long before Jon Cryer's character kills Ashton Kutcher on "Two and a Half Men?" The sooner, the better.

11. How many times will Lindsay Lohan be shown on the news entering a courtroom this year? How many days is the court in session?

12. Is it possible that Nancy Grace will never dance on television again? One can hope.

13. Can the decision to bring Billy Crystal back as host of the Oscars possibly live up to the public's high expectations? Nobody could meet those expectations, except a reincarnated Johnny Carson.

14. Will we find out what happened between Jerry Lewis and the Muscular Dystrophy Association that led to his dismissal as host of the annual Labor Day telethon? It makes no sense, so the story has to be pretty good.

15. Can Emma Stone get any cuter? It's probably not possible, and we hope she doesn't get any cuter because we're not sure how many more of those creepy messages from Jim Carrey we can take.

16. How many careers will be damaged by celebrities who either forget that microphones are always turned on, or that there is always a cell phone camera in the room? Some people just never learn.

17. Will Brad Pitt ever win an Oscar, or must he continue to suffer through another year of that hellish life he leads with Angelina Jolie? Yeah, we don't care if he wins, either.

18. Can Piers Morgan survive the British phone hacking scandal? We haven't hacked into the former tabloid editor's secret text messages, but we suspect that we haven't heard the last of this matter.

19. Will Hollywood smarten up and stop shooting itself in the foot by releasing too many quality movies in the same week next December? No.

20. Is this the year that the media stops covering celebrities so obsessively? We will stop obsessing when you stop obsessing.



Source: (c) 2012 The Orange County Register (Santa Ana, Calif.)


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